The thing about retirement is that it seems such an unlikely and faraway destination from the perspective of a houseful of charming toddler-gangsters and the routines of work and home. Pension contributions are removed on a monthly basis and only begrudged slightly less than the taxes that eat into the resources needed to maintain the lifestyle which said gangsters insist is their right. (Mrs Bloggins wonders how much larger her savings might have been if scarce funds hadn’t been squandered on Pokemon cards which are now stuffed in some dusty boxes in the back of cupboards. Fortunes were also spent on Lego and Warhammer – now occasionally found in crevices or in those same dusty boxes.)
Suddenly (or so it seems ) the little gang of three who, with their unemployed mother, were financially parasitising a patient and uncomplaining Mr Bloggins for more than two decades, have grown into physical and intellectual giants. While not actually moving out of the family home yet, (property prices being what they are even in deepest South Wales), they are mostly financially independent and no longer need the constant support of their enfeebled parents.
Mr Bloggins no longer wakes at 6 AM to catch the bus to work at 6:55. He has earned a lie-in every day but six months of retirement has not resulted in his daily routine varying much from what it used to be on weekends and days off when he still worked. A long and untroubled future of simple pleasures and relaxing days stretches out ahead. Except it doesn’t…
Mrs Bloggins, of course, has not retired. When does a housewife retire? Perhaps when her twice-delayed state pension kicks in? But she knows that if you don’t have a plan, nothing happens. Many of the projects and interests she intended to focus on once she left her last employment ten years ago are still unfinished or even unstarted. In order to avoid procrastinating themselves into their graves, Mrs B. announced to Mr B. that they ought to do some strategic thinking and started to suggest topics for consideration such as health, finances, down-sizing and hobbies. Mr Bloggins didn’t like the sound of that at all and disappeared into the living room to read the latest copy of the Radio Times magazine. Mrs Bloggins made a start on implementing the retirement financial plan by cancelling the subscription.
